Blessed are You oh God! God of our fathers and mothers, God of Abraham, God of Isaac, and God of Jacob, God of Sarah, God of Rebecca, God of Rachel, and God of Leah!
God who wrestled with Jacob and was overcome by him, and so had it proclaimed “Jacob your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans, and you have overcome!”
You, God, who in Your infinite wisdom gave Abraham the morning, and Issac the afternoon, that you choose the one who struggled – Jacob – to give control of the night to, this most precious and sacred time…
This time where we are invited to enter into the realm of our deepest truths and dreams, to dance with the Hosts of Heavens, with the music that fills our souls, and where all those who journey can find cover and safety in your blanket of darkness, and reassurance in your stars.
Mighty and awesome God, transcendent god who bestows lovingkindness and creates everything out of love: bless and protect this space, hide it from all who seek to do it harm, and yet may it shine as brightly as the Pillar of Fire that brought your people out of Egypt and into freedom, so that all those who are seeking refuge and are in need may find there way to it.
May it serve for as long as it is needed, and may we reach a time soon where we will no longer need to transport people in secret or in cover of darkness, and where nation shall not turn upon nation, but where we can accept each other as brothers and sisters as one.
– Matthew L. Schwartz
Written in Honor of the work of Rev. Justo Gonzalez II
Hello Everyone and welcome to my new site (please forgive the scraps of fabric as I get everything setup). While you’re here, please check out the About Me section to get an idea of who I am and my work!
A little bit of using self in Social Work.
Two weeks ago I fell at my Field Placement. I was walking down the hall (using my cane, not my rollator – my first mistake!) and all of a sudden my muscles decided that it was time to take a lunch break without me. I fell backwards, scared all of the staff who were around me and came rushing to my aid, and I required four people to help lift me off the floor and get me into a chair.
Unfortunately, my muscle strength didn’t return, I couldn’t stand from the chair, and I had to go to the Emergency Room for a bit for safe keeping. Fortunately, everyone who I work with at my field placement site is brilliant, compassionate, and trauma informed. This meant that instead of being embarrassed, or worried about stigma, that I was able to instead concentrate on getting better, and meeting with my medical team.
Among being neurologically special, I have two auto-immune conditions that pose the most amount of complications in my life: Rheumatoid Arthritis & Fibromyalgia (which, for me, is actually co-morbid and secondary to the Rheumatoid Arthritis).
While RA isn’t rare in males, Fibromyalgia is, which (according to my math) makes me some kind of unicorn. It took ten months, lots of doctors, a biopsy, an EMG, literally dozens upon dozens of blood tests, a trip to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, and finally a local rheumatologist (working with a fairly advanced medical team of primary care providers, neurologists, physical therapists, nutritionists, etc.) to get me to a final diagnosis. If I were a woman it would have taken four years and two months longer; so I’m acutely aware of my male privilege here; to say nothing of the fact that I was able to even fly out to the Mayo Clinic.
Both of these conditions effect every area of my life. Rheumatoid Arthritis attacks my joints, nerves, and muscles. When I have an acute flare up I am the equivalent of a giant newborn who can’t walk, and who can barely sit up. Both of these conditions also cause fatigue. Fibromyalgia also causes intense pain. Fibromyalgia also has this awful thing called “Fibrofog.” Generally, it’s how my cup of coffee winds up in the linen closet.
Because of this, I have had to become an expert in conserving my energy properly, so that when I’m with my clients I’m at my peak game (this is an ethical imperative). What this means is that I have had to become an expert at time management, and conserving spoons. If you’re not familiar with The Spoon Theory, please take a quick read (it’s okay, I’ll wait).
A large part in being successful in managing my spoons, is making use of a variety of tools, tech, and assistive devices:
Tom Bihn’s Maker’s Bag
I use a bag by Tom Bihn called the “Maker’s Bag.” The main reason for this (outside of the fact that I’m vocationally trained as a sewist and fiber artist, and as soon as I found out that there was a bag geared toward people like me I wen’t “cool!”) is that there are a ton of rings that you can tether (literally) all of your belongings to. This means that no matter how “foggy” I am, I’m not losing my wallet, my bus pass, or any of my every-day-carry. This of course then lowers my anxiety (which can escalate from 0 to 100 in about .03 seconds if I can’t find my wallet, which used to happen regularly before I got this bag…usually as I was trying to get out of the door just on time). Everything is connected to this bag. My keys are tethered to this bag with a tether long enough to reach my door while I’m still wearing the bag. My wallet is tethered to this bag. My crochet hooks are tethered to this bag. My life is more or less tethered to this incredible bag. When I kick the bucket at 120, I’m having this bag buried with me so I can make sure I’m still this put together in the afterlife.
NovaJoy Vibe Wide Rolling Walker
Affectionately named Zappy, my walker is one of my main mobility aids. I do have a prescription for a wheelchair that I’m waiting on; but I prefer my walker for a variety of reasons. First, I feel more comfortable and active with it. Secondly, by continuing to walk (when I can, so not during acute flareups where I just sort of flop around like a Magikarp), I ensure that I don’t lose muscle strength. That said, when I am weak, it provides support, and when I lose all energy, I always have a seat with me. My walker is pretty tricked out. It has a light, a cane holder, a cup holder, and storage in the bottom. This may seem silly, until you realize that as someone who can have a rapid drop in energy and/or muscle strength, it provides me with both a safe and comfortable spot to rest, or to wait for an Uber to pick me up and help me get home. I don’t expect a cure from two incurable chronic conditions, which is why when people ask me when I’ll be “healthy” and not need my walker, I just sort of stare at them.
The Miracle Cube Timer by Datexx
I use a Miracle Cube Timer to help me get my work done. What I do is set it for 15 minutes, and then “sprint” (so focus only one one task and one task only, such as writing my case notes). While the timer is going I don’t allow myself to do anything else. Once it beeps, I flip it over to the 5 minute side, and give myself a five minute break. I’ve found that this has helped me manage my time at work more efficiently. I have one cube on my desk at field, and one cube on my desk at home. Research papers, reports, case notes get done in record time (though it does take some self-discipline to develop this skill).
Unfuck Your Habitat
Unfuck Your Habitat (UFYH) is one of the best resources I have ever encountered for anyone who is either disorganized, or faces challenges keeping their habitats unfucked due to chronic disease, illness, or mental health challenges. There’s a book, website, tumblr, and app…and I use all of them. It’s the only reason that my counseling space looks impeccable, the only reason I can function in my home office, and the only reason my bedroom hasn’t been listed as a national disaster site.
Remember The Milk
If I don’t write it down, the odds of it happening are slim to none. But I also have to be very cognizant of how much weight I’m carrying with me at any time. I use Remember The Milk as my main go to organizer for tasks. This saves me from having to carry a large to-do notebook. I have it installed on every computer I use at work (and at field placement). It’s on my iPhone and on my Apple Watch. It can send me multiple reminders hours, days, and even weeks in advance of when something is due. This means no matter how “foggy’ I am, I remember to get things done (so long as I plan in advance, since I never know when an acute flareup may strike). I obviously don’t enter client names or any PHI into it, but it’s great for things like “remember to case note;” “pick up flyers for clients,” “check your task list from your supervisor!” etc.
Evercontact is an application that will automatically update your address book based on your contacts signature lines. I have limited energy, and limited time. But I’m also in a field where networking is absolutely crucial to providing services to my clients. By having Evercontact update my address book (instead of me doing it manually) I save quite a bit of time. I get notifications on updates multiple times a week (sometimes even multiple times a day).
Evernote is one of my lifesavers. I just cannot physically carry notebooks and binders with me everywhere anymore. This is where Evernote comes in to save the day. It is *literally* my everything binder. I have video clips saved there, audio clips, word docs, PDFs, notes scribbled on the back of envelopes, post-its, whiteboards and blackboards…all stored digitally, almost all searchable thanks to Evernote’s incredible handwriting OCR. I cannot praise them enough…if they were HIPAA compliant, they’d be *literally* one of the only things that a Social Worker would need…but even without being HIPAA compliant, they’re damn near perfect. Evernote is quite literally my brain’s backup device.
My iPhone & Apple Watch
My friend was kind enough to gift me an Apple Watch, which I mainly appreciate for it’s SOS feature (it provides me with a great deal of comfort knowing that I can hold the side button, have my watch call 911, and at the same time have it text my emergency contacts, including my supervisor). The Apple Watch has been useful in numerous other ways as well. I have an app on the watch that records sound at the touch of a button and then transcribes it (great for taking important notes, especially when I’m foggy). It also keeps me on track (by having my schedule on my wrist, and not having to remember to look at my phone or my calendar), reminds me to check my blood sugar, monitors my heart rate, and reminds me to remain active (among many other things). It also syncs with Remember the Milk & Evernote, which is incredibly helpful.
My iPhone has more or less replaced my daily computer. I find that an iPad is too heavy for me to hold in the long term, and after a day at sitting at desks and typing (which can be painful at times, especially when my hands and wrists lock up) that I rely on my iPhone for pretty much everything. Emails, television (i.e. Netflix & Hulu). Facebook. Even blogging.
I haven’t been paid by any of these companies. I haven’t received services in exchange for recommending these products. There are just – hands down – some of the tools that I have used to conserve my spoons, manage my energy, help my health, and remain in the MSW program (with a 3.687 GPA). They have allowed me to continue to work as a counselor, remain in my field placement, and continue forward toward graduating so that I can have my Social Work practice.
I look forward to sharing other tools and tricks in the future. I think it’s important – for true self care – that we recognize our barriers, roadblocks, and differences…and then find ways around, over, under, and through them. We ask our clients to be honest with us, and to share the most intimate parts of their lives with us…the least we can do to honor this, is to be honest with ourselves.